When your child is diagnosed with cancer, you may experience many different emotions. Anger is one of these emotions. It may arise at the time of diagnosis, during treatment, or at any other point along the journey.
You may feel angry because of:
- The stress and difficulties that arise in your life
- Changes in your daily life following your child's cancer diagnosis and treatment
- The way family members and friends react to the illness
Like every other emotion, anger has physical signs. For example, when you experience anger, your heart rate may increase, your face and ears may become flushed, your hands may tremble, and your breathing may become faster than usual. Paying attention to these physical signs can help us recognize the emotions we are experiencing. What matters is learning how to manage this emotion.
When a child with a chronic illness such as cancer is part of a family, anger is a natural emotional response that may arise in different situations. If you experience anger, you should not feel guilty. Anger is not inherently bad. However, some people express it in unhealthy or inappropriate ways.
Inappropriate responses to anger include:
- Avoiding or suppressing the expression of emotions
- Engaging in behaviors that harm yourself or others
- Alcohol or substance misuse
Responding to anger in unhealthy ways can contribute to depression.
Healthy expression and management of anger involve recognizing the emotion and expressing it constructively. When anger is expressed appropriately, it can lead to positive changes. For example, it may provide the energy and strength needed to overcome challenges that arise during the treatment of an illness.
When you feel angry, consider the following:
Recognize your anger:
Sometimes people act out of anger without realizing that they are angry.
Pay attention to the other emotions hidden beneath your anger:
Sometimes people hide other painful emotions beneath their anger and may not even realize it. Some people feel more comfortable with anger than with emotions such as fear or sadness that arise following a diagnosis of illness.
Avoid taking your anger out on others:
Pay attention to the reasons behind your emotions rather than directing your anger toward other people.
Do not wait until your anger builds up:
As soon as you recognize your emotions, express them in an appropriate way. If you keep anger bottled up inside, you are more likely to express it in an unhealthy way.
You can express your anger in the following healthy ways:
- Share the reasons for your anger with a trusted family member or friend.
- Engage in physical activity when you feel angry.
- Write down what is going through your mind. Afterwards, you can scribble on or tear up the paper.
- Try to step away from a stressful environment for a few moments. Creating some distance can help you regain control of your emotions.
- Use techniques such as massage, relaxation, music, or art.
Seek help from a psychologist or counselor
Many people benefit from counseling, either individually or in a group setting. A mental health professional can help you with anger in the following ways:
- Understanding what triggers your anger
- Avoiding destructive responses
- Finding healthy ways to express your emotions
- Learning valuable coping skills
- Addressing related issues, such as addiction or relationship difficulties
- Assessing whether chronic anger is contributing to clinical depression
Pediatric Palliative Care Team, Hazrat Ali Asghar (AS) Children's Hospital
Compiled and translated by: Neda Shahvaroughi Farahani, Marzieh Talebi, and Maryam Homayounpour
Source: cancer.net
